Game Reviews

Oh, look, another racing game for Xbox Live. Now, we wouldn’t be so dismissive if it weren’t for the glut of incredible four-wheelin’ games coming our way this month, including Split/Second and Blur. Still, something in our youth cried for us to try out Things On Wheels, a game that puts you in control of remote control cars as you race around tracks in and around a house, picking up power-ups to slow down the competition. After about a couple of hours, though, we could hear that same youth yawn out of sheer boredom.

Part of the problem is that Things On Wheels doesn’t really differ from the 80,000 other racing games available. There’s no stunt system, no variety to the power-ups (electric shocker, turbo boost, tire freezer and green shield, and occasional traps around the house), and nothing, aside from some creative track names, which shows any real ingenuity. The game is so average, we wanted to slap the word across every vehicle we drove in the game.

That’s not to say it doesn’t handle all right. Things On Wheels is playable for the most part. You can navigate turns, come off jumps, and execute power-ups with ease. However, most of the time, you’ll find yourself slipping to last place because of the scattershot collision detection. You’ll hit walls, dead ends, piano legs, the works…all while trying to navigate around them. Focus Home Interactive probably should’ve spent a little more time cleaning up this title, especially since it’s been delayed for so long anyway.The game looks pretty good. It runs at a (mostly) smooth 60 frames per second, even in split-screen multiplayer. The car models look okay as well, although the lack of paint jobs (there are only so many colors in the rainbow to use) force you to stick with something neon-ish. As for the sound, ugh. We have routine background tunes here, and nothing that would last five seconds in Split/Second. The sound effects fare no better, with weak sounding RC engines. We’ve heard Radio Shack models that sound meatier than this.