Game Reviews

I try my best not to smear grease on my PSP as I balance Phantasy Star Portable 2 in one hand and a Mc-something-or-other in the other at the local fast-food trough. Suddenly, I'm struck with a brief sense of wonderment as I realize how impressed my sixteen-year-old self would be with this whole scenario; the latest Phantasy Star -- a franchise I worshipped as a youth -- playable online and on-demand with a device that (almost) fits in my pocket. "Screw hoverboards," I think. "This is the future."

That sentiment fades fast as a boss monster drops my spiky-haired swordsman with a single, unexpected strike -- my fourth such failure in the last fifteen minutes. The game pauses to load as I curse under my breath, respawn in the game's hub city, stroll unenthusiastically to my ship, and, finally, reload the encounter for a fifth time. Once again, my three-hit combos barely put a dent in the towering hellbeast before I'm snuffed. And, at this precise moment, "the future" starts feeling a lot more like a gussied-up 2001. Come to think of it, almost everything about Phantasy Star Portable 2 reeks of the past. Many of the game's environments, monsters, and boss fights have been outright regurgitated from previous games in the action-RPG series (including an entire chapter lifted from the original Phantasy Star Online). Furthermore, the simple, rhythm-based combat system pioneered by the first PSO remains largely unchanged in this iteration -- meaning every weapon type still has its own learning curve, and most are limited to just three or four basic attack animations each.